Welcome to the January Carnival of Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding Goals

This month we're bringing you posts on the topic of New Year's breastfeeding resolutions. Be sure to check out the links at the end for the other participants' posts.

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I don't know that I've ever had quantifiable breastfeeding goals, such as "breastfeed till X months old." Certainly, when my son was born, my goal in general was to breastfeed, period. I stuck with it through a rocky beginning because it was so important to me.

Now that Mikko's 19 months old, I hadn't really reconsidered my goals for breastfeeding. I think it might be that I've never been attuned to the word "goals" in terms of breastfeeding, because it sounds like feeding your baby's something to accomplish, something about the mother's success or failure. I guess I think of my goals for breastfeeding as more of a vision. Even before giving birth, for years I've had a picture in my mind of breastfeeding my baby whenever and as often as he desired and for as long as he chose.

That vision has always informed my practical goals. To breastfeed successfully long term, I knew I needed certain elements in place, so I put in the time and arranging needed to meet these goals:

     * I checked out books from the library on breastfeeding and watched videos online, since I hadn't had much chance otherwise to see breastfeeding in action or understand the facts and mechanics. (Here are some good online resources: kellymom, Dr. Jack Newman, Ask Dr. Sears, and here are a couple of the many excellent books on the subject: The Nursing Mother's Companion, by Kathleen Huggins, and The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers, by Dr. Jack Newman.)
     * I read supportive blogs (see some of my favorite blogs in the links at the side, or visit the other participants in the carnival below) and joined online forums of like-minded parents (such as mothering dot community) to start off with positive impressions about the breastfeeding relationship and to have any concerns and questions answered.
     * We chose midwives to attend our birth who encourage breastfeeding, one of whom is a lactation consultant.
     * Sam and I traded in our queen-size bed for a king-size mattress on the floor, ignoring our families' well-meant suggestions to buy both a bedframe and a crib. We knew exclusive breastfeeding would mean feeding at night, and I wanted the baby near so it would be convenient.
     * So that I could keep getting good sleep, I found resources in books and online that showed me how to breastfeed lying down, along with guidance from the nurses and midwives. (Here are an instruction sheet and a video.) That way, I can just roll toward my baby, barely waking either of us up.
     * I practiced ways to nurse comfortably in public, not covering up but not making myself feel embarrassed at baring more than I'd intended. That way, I could feel calm when Mikko wanted a meal while we were out, and I didn't feel confined to home, or the car, or a restroom.

These were all my personal preferences and goals for breastfeeding. My vision for the future of breastfeeding is personal as well as wider reaching. I want to continue feeding my child until he decides to stop -- gradually and peacefully and hopefully not sadly for either of us. I want to continue being responsive to his needs to nurse, for comfort as well as calories, and to trust him to know his own needs. I want to be unashamed and confident in breastfeeding a toddler. I want to continue to encourage other parents and potential parents to consider breastfeeding, particularly exclusive (in the early days) and extended breastfeeding.

For the wider world, I want breastfeeding to become (again) normal. I envision every mother trying to breastfeed and almost all continuing to do so, for months or years. I hope for no more dirty looks or quiet suggestions to move along when women breastfeed in public. I see laws being passed in every necessary district to allow breastfeeding, but it will become an act so normal that no one will care. In time, people will look back at the laws and laugh at how archaic they are, and marvel that there was ever a society that needed to be told that breastfeeding is natural and acceptable. Daughters and sons will grow up watching their mothers, aunts, and neighbors feed their young and will pass the wisdom on to their own children when the time comes.

Dream with me, and it will come true. Here's to a happy New Year and a new start for all of us.

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Please read the excellent posts from our other carnival participants:

Secrets of Orual wants to encourage other mamas with her experiences of overcoming tough breastfeeding starts
The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog has a slew of incredible lactational support resolutions, including distributing breast pumps to WIC and finishing a book for breastfeeding consultants working with Spanish-speaking mothers
Zen Mommy is learning how to apply Reiki to pregnancy and breastfeeding
Beautiful Letdown resolves to be present and responsive as she tandem nurses
Milk Act looks for ways to stay healthy while continuing to breastfeed her toddler
Breastfeeding 123 lets go of a goal for introducing solids and makes a new one to listen to her children's cues
Blacktating continues to take breastfeeding as a working mom one nursing and pumping session at a time
Mama Knows Breast is going to post breastfeeding information and stories to make women feel comfortable breastfeeding anywhere
Breastfeeding Mums is determined to get her breastfeeding book published this year -- but wants your vote on which way

Painting is a Mother and Child, by Mary Cassatt